Melancholic Death of the Hypocritical Jihadist
He never set foot into a mosque. He never integrated into the mainstream community. He was above mainstream. To him, he was very knowledgable. On a daily basis, he would re-read the same literature which he perceived would expand his knowledge on his religion. This does not discount the fact his only knowledge is derived from a thwarted and erroneous English translation of a non-existent verse of the holy scripture. An acquaintant he met at a bar sent this through email alongside other spam emails like “Viagra for Children”. Naturally, he accepted it as the Word.
He had never come to learn of a single Arabic word, save for “Jihad”, which the media – which he took as a source of authority - mistranslates as “holy war”. At breakfast he slammed the tabloid unto the dining table deeply and very vocally grousing about the unfairness of the treatment of his kind in Palestine, Afghanistan and Iraq. He ranted to his wife that justice would prevail in these afflicted countries and how he would contribute with his life in securing their freedom from infidel infiltrators.
He said love and kindness and mercy of God will prevail. No more killing of his kind by infidels, he swore. When his wife sought for his kind assistance with the dishes, he lashed her with his belt to near-death.
On his computer later, he searched for the keywords “Holy scripture recitation” on youtube. At intermittence of every 10 seconds, he would switch windows to see how his download of “Black Man Humps Blonde Cheerleader” had progressed. 10 seconds to go. He was elated. 10 seconds later later, one could clearly hear the reading of Arabic verses punctuated by the unmistakable sound of insatiable moaning and groaning coming from his room.
“This is too much”, he complains. “The infidel Western media has gone overboard in corrupting minds! Jihad against infidels!”
He got up and strapped a time bomb around his waist. 10 minutes to go and the infidels will feel the wrath of God, he thought. There was no way the bomb could be stopped. He bought it at a discounted price over ebay the week before. He strode firmly out of his house and headed towards the nearest “Western” target, being a McDonald’s restaurant located at a mosque basement.
He finally arrived at his target location. Some kids there gathered around him, even asking for his permission to play with the cool toy strapped around his waist. He brushed them aside. He frowned at the children’s want for pleasure and fun, which he perceives as the Devil’’s trickery. Besides, he had no time. He had a date with 70 virgins awaiting him on the other side.
1 minute to go.
From where he was, he could faintly hear the imam from the mosque upstairs reading a translation of a selected verse: “...if someone kills another person, it is as if he had murdered all mankind. And if anyone gives life to another person, it is as if he had given life to all mankind...”
“I didn’t know that!” He was uncharacteristically bewildered. His mouth gaped wide open in shock as his fingers trembled in search for a button to switch off the mechanism…
The day after, the media reported in the newspapers: “Islamist Suicide Bomber Blasts Muslim Children at Mosque Basement”.
[Read: Religious Rehabilitation Group, The True Islamic Morals, U.S Tries Rehab For Religious Extremists]
He had never come to learn of a single Arabic word, save for “Jihad”, which the media – which he took as a source of authority - mistranslates as “holy war”. At breakfast he slammed the tabloid unto the dining table deeply and very vocally grousing about the unfairness of the treatment of his kind in Palestine, Afghanistan and Iraq. He ranted to his wife that justice would prevail in these afflicted countries and how he would contribute with his life in securing their freedom from infidel infiltrators.He said love and kindness and mercy of God will prevail. No more killing of his kind by infidels, he swore. When his wife sought for his kind assistance with the dishes, he lashed her with his belt to near-death.
On his computer later, he searched for the keywords “Holy scripture recitation” on youtube. At intermittence of every 10 seconds, he would switch windows to see how his download of “Black Man Humps Blonde Cheerleader” had progressed. 10 seconds to go. He was elated. 10 seconds later later, one could clearly hear the reading of Arabic verses punctuated by the unmistakable sound of insatiable moaning and groaning coming from his room.
“This is too much”, he complains. “The infidel Western media has gone overboard in corrupting minds! Jihad against infidels!”
He got up and strapped a time bomb around his waist. 10 minutes to go and the infidels will feel the wrath of God, he thought. There was no way the bomb could be stopped. He bought it at a discounted price over ebay the week before. He strode firmly out of his house and headed towards the nearest “Western” target, being a McDonald’s restaurant located at a mosque basement.
He finally arrived at his target location. Some kids there gathered around him, even asking for his permission to play with the cool toy strapped around his waist. He brushed them aside. He frowned at the children’s want for pleasure and fun, which he perceives as the Devil’’s trickery. Besides, he had no time. He had a date with 70 virgins awaiting him on the other side.
1 minute to go.
From where he was, he could faintly hear the imam from the mosque upstairs reading a translation of a selected verse: “...if someone kills another person, it is as if he had murdered all mankind. And if anyone gives life to another person, it is as if he had given life to all mankind...”
“I didn’t know that!” He was uncharacteristically bewildered. His mouth gaped wide open in shock as his fingers trembled in search for a button to switch off the mechanism…
The day after, the media reported in the newspapers: “Islamist Suicide Bomber Blasts Muslim Children at Mosque Basement”.
[Read: Religious Rehabilitation Group, The True Islamic Morals, U.S Tries Rehab For Religious Extremists]
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posted by The Reluctant Chauvinist at
11:14 AM
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